


Midnight Worries

by definitely_not_wrestling_bears



Series: New Life [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A/B/O Universe, Alpha!Kawanishi, M/M, Omega!Goshiki, Past Mpreg, Postpartum Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-22 01:32:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10687014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/definitely_not_wrestling_bears/pseuds/definitely_not_wrestling_bears
Summary: Kawanishi and Goshiki have a brand new baby girl, but not everything is picture perfect.





	Midnight Worries

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place after their chapter of the Ins and Outs of Love. You don't have to read it to understand this, it's just a lil followup blurb I had.

Tsutomu is still awake. Taichi knows this, because he's been listening to him toss and turn for the entire night. It's now nearly four am, and still his omega hasn't had a shred of rest. It's been three days since they came home from the hospital, baby Mirai in tow, and Tsutomu hasn't been the same. His normally sunny demeanor has clouded over; where there once were abundant smiles, there's now nothing but silence and nervous glances towards whatever room Mirai was in. 

The doctors had warned Taichi about this before they left the hospital. As they sat near the discharge station, Tsutomu staring wide eyed at the little pup in his arms, the doctors had spoken to the alpha in hushed tones. Tsutomu's hormones still weren't returning to normal. It could take a long as a year. He might not be the same for a long time. 

Postpartum depression. 

He wasn't surprised it would be a possibility, what with how hard the pregnancy had been to start with, but that was before the symptoms started. That was before he spent hours taking care of a fussy Mirai when Tsutomu couldn't. That was before the omega was in tears as often as their newborn, hiding away where he thought his alpha couldn't hear him. 

The baby monitor by Taichi's head crackles softly, and he feels Tsutomu stiffen next to him. A soft whine follows their static, and the omega curls a little tighter into his blankets. Taichi leans over and kisses his cheek wordlessly before getting out of bed and into his slippers. Mirai's room is only across the hall of the their little two bedroom apartment, but the few steps seem to drag in his mind. He opens the door quietly to be greeted with his daughter's whining cries. She's really giving it her all tonight. He leans over the crib and picks her up gently, resting her little head against his shoulder. Taichi knows why she's being so fussy; she hasn't had her omega mother's touch since they left the hospital. She's imprinted fully on him by now, but Tsutomu... 

Taichi hums softly as he rubs along her back, taking slow steps around her little nursery. Her cries don't ease up, and he has the feeling it's going to be a very long night. He restrains a sigh and sits down in the little rocking chair his father gave them, running a slow momentum with a toe on the ground to push them along. It takes what feels like hours for Mirai to finally start calming down, and Taichi's now throbbing head thanks her in silence. 

There's a soft shuffling by the nursery door, and Taichi looks up to catch sight of a wide eyed Tsutomi staring at them. The omega jumps a little when he meets his alpha's eyes, quickly averting his gaze. "Is she... okay?" His voice is so small, so unlike everything he has come to love in his mate. It makes his heart ache. 

"She's just fussy." He replies quietly. "She needed some cuddles."

Tsutomu walks over to them slowly, and Taichi is reminded of a spooked animal. He leans back on the rocking chair to let Tsutomu get a look at their sleeping daughter. He opens his mouth as if to say something, but quickly shuts it again. A hand rises, and then a hand falls. 

"She's so cute." The words are barely above a whisper and crack on the way out. Taichi nods in agreement. 

"She looks just like you." Mirai stirs in her blanket as if on cue. "Her little nose, that black hair..." He trails off when he hears Tsutomu sniff softly. The omega squats down next to them, eye level with their daughter and on the verge of tears, he can tell. He reaches out to the pup, brushing a lock of dark hair from her face. 

"I'm so sorry." Tsutomu chokes out the words, and Taichi feels his heart wrench. He hated this. His omega had nothing to apologize for, it wasn't his fault his body hadn't bounced back. The pregnancy had been so hard to begin with, riddled with so many potholes and setbacks and near misses, he deserved to finally be happy. God, it wasn't his fault. 

Taichi raises a hand to stroke through Tsutomu hair. "It isn't you fault, and she knows that. I promise." He had never been good at comforting people, but he would have given anything to be in that moment. 

"I just want to feel normal again." He says miserably. "I want to hold my baby and not feel terrified and hopeless and-" He stops abruptly, his shoulders shaking gently. Taichi stands up carefully, moving to Mirai's crib and setting her gently inside. She stays asleep, and he turns to Tsutomu when he's done, finding the omega still on the floor and staring up at him with wide, teary brown eyes. 

"Stand up, love." He says softly, holding his hands out for the smaller omega. He stands slowly, hands tucked in his alpha's and his eyes avoiding Taichi's. The alpha wraps his arms around his mate, tucking him away in his arms and squeezing tightly. He feels Tsutomu's hands ball in the back of his shirt as he speaks. "I know this isn't easy, but we can do it. I promise we can. You're going to be okay." 

Tsutomu's shoulders shake under him. "When?" 

"I don't know, baby. As long as it takes. But it will happen." He holds him tighter, swallowing against a lump in his throat. "I'll take care of her, you focus on getting better." 

"I'll sorry, Taichi-"

"Don't apologize." He says it sharply, but it holds no anger, no ill emotion. He can hear all the hidden fear behind the words, all the misery Tsutomu hasn't said. "It's not your fault. You're not a bad mother." He curls against Taichi's chest at those words. "She loves you. She does, and so do I."

"...You promise...?"

"Unconditionally." Taichi pushes Tsutomu's bangs back from his forehead, brushing his lips against it. "No matter what. You're my mate, I'll always love you."

Tsutomu sniffs; his breathing is steady now, but there's still tears staining his cheeks. Taichi kisses the tip of his upturned nose, his favorite feature about the omega's cute little face. It's so surreal, seeing him wear such a sad expression. Normally his mate was so bright, so bursting with life that it was hard _not_ to smile just by looking at him. He would give anything to get those days back. How were they supposed to get those days back? The doctors said it could take up to a year. He won't tell Tsutomu that, he can't; he can't imagine how that might make the omega feel. Taichi rubs the wet patches from his cheeks, holding the sides of his face tenderly. For the first time in a very long time, he's at a loss for words. His silence isn't by choice, it's because he isn't sure where to go from here. 

After what feels like an hour, he finally feels Tsutomu shift, his head turning to look past him, towards Mirai's crib. Taichi watches his face closely, watches as things like curiosity, longing, and fear pass over it. He hums softly, tilting Tsutomu's head to look back up to him. As much as he wants him to feel bettr, he knows it isn't going to happen tonight, and it certainly isn't going to come from him staring at her. "We should go back to bed. She's asleep now, and you need some rest."

His mate blinks before nodding slowly, and he can tell he understands what's going on. There's no easy way to handle this, but this seems to at least be the less stressful solution. Taichi takes his hand, leading him out of the nursery and back to their bedroom. The omega slips into bed first, snuggling down into their blankets with an exhausted sigh. Taichi follows after, drawing his mate into his arms. Tsutomu feels so small in his arms. Even though he knows his mate is sturdier than he looks, he's afraid of squeezing to hard and breaking the poor thing. He knows how upset the omega would be if he said it, so he keeps the thought tucked away. Even now, he knows Tsutomu takes pride in being a strong omega. Even now, he knows he wouldn't want to let go of that last little confirmation that he can still take care of himself, even if he was outwardly falling apart. Tenacity was definitely one of the things that drew them together in the first place. 

"Taichi?" He asks softly, and the alpha hums to let him know he's listening. "...I love you."

He smiles, leaning down to kiss his temple. "I love you too, Tomu."

**Author's Note:**

> Scream @ my inbox
> 
> aggressive-kagehinas.tumblr.com


End file.
